Focus on Fathers Day

 

There's been a lot going on around the house this week, so I apologize if this gets confusing.  Also I understand talking about fathers can be  sensitive for a number of reasons.

I'm going to explore some of my own thoughts about what it means to be a father.   Then I'm going to look at some Scriptures about fathers.  And finally, I invite you, if you want, to share a thought about fathers after our moment of silent reflection.  

To start, I dedicate this to fathers I've known, in my own family, and as friends, coaches, teachers, co-workers.   I won't embarrass my husband,  my brother,  my son,  or son-in-law...., but you're the inspiration for this.  I also dedicate this to boys and young men finding their way in life, who may become fathers or may search for father figures. Daughters too.

Before I approached Scripture, I thought about my own experience and understanding of what it means to be a father. 

      

Fathering is a verb, an active relationship in human life, a shared role.  As humans in the natural world,  we raise our offspring in families,  extended families,  chosen families and communities  because we have a very long childhood.  Human communities evolve with technology  and establish their own parenting and fathering practices over time.... sometimes  borrowing,  sometimes  imposing traditions on other groups.

I thought about traits and responsibilities most human fathers share.  Their role - their  job - is to protect,  provide,  teach and encourage.  They do this by their actions and interactions. They protect by maintaining safe shelter and by being good stewards on the land.  They provide for the needs of the family.  They teach about the world and life skills.  They encourage with some balancing of risk taking and caution, discipline and reward.  Each individual father is from their unique time and place with their own gifts and flaws. 

The speed of technology change and world change challenges the relevance of fathers' knowledge and skills.  Their human relational gifts - expressions of love, patience,  humor, trustworthiness,  compassion,  forgiveness, among other traits - are what will aid their children into the future. 

I was fortunate to have my father for 45 years.   Though he's passed, I still have him.   His own father died when he was a young child.  He loved and learned from his stepfather.  I saw him be a father figure for a young cousin.   Maybe there were some gaps in his fathering skills,  but he gave me what he was,  a somewhat older traditional conservative Dad when society was changing rapidly.   He modeled quiet faith and life in church.  He loved to laugh and sing.  He encouraged my love of nature.   He taught me to drive, swim, play tennis,  housepaint and do yardwork,  mostly with loving patience.  

    

So, on to Scripture.  This morning we read Genesis 21: 8-13.  It was part of today's lectionary reading.  The full reading went to verse 21.  It  told how Abraham sent Hagar and her son into the wilderness with just a loaf of bread and a waterskin.   God heard the voice of Hagar's child crying in the wilderness (Ishmael means 'God hears'),  God enabled her to find a well and God was with the boy and he grew and became an archer and married an Egyptian woman.

First Abraham, the human father,  is celebrating one son's milestone.  Then he is distressed for the safety and love of his other son.    God's generosity graces Abraham and both sons.   This is God as Father.   Abraham's meager provisioning for mother and child in the wilderness can be seen as hard hearted or as his trusting faith in God's word.

And then there's Proverbs which has a lot of fatherly wisdom about how to avoid wickedness and how to be a righteous, happy man.

What about Jesus' father, Joseph?   In Matthew's nativity account, he was a righteous and honorable man.  He obeyed God's dream messenger to provide for his family and protect them in exile and in their return.   Luke's account of Jesus' boyhood in Nazareth is that he 'grew up and became strong, filled with wisdom, and God's grace was on him' [ 2:40].

12 year old Jesus gave his parents a fright when he stayed behind at the temple.  He returned home with them and obeyed them and 'increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people' [2:52].

Though Joseph is not directly credited, I think I can assume he showed Jesus what it meant to be a good man and father.  And this experience likely contributed to the descriptions in Jesus' parables and teachings about God's kingdom.

In the Parable of the Lost Son [Luke 15:11-32].  The father is overjoyed at his son's return and showers him with affection and feasting.   He pleads with his other son to put aside his anger and join the celebration.  The father has room in his heart for both and wants to reunite his family.

Most obvious, Jesus taught his disciples to pray to 'Our Father in heaven.' [Matt 6:9-13]. I really like how the Message version says 'Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.'  And I like the following connection made between our forgiving and being forgiven. We will recite the traditional version before communion.

In Matthew 7:7-12, Jesus is saying that if evil men know how to give good gifts to their children,  think 'how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him.'   He encourages persistence and doing for others as you want them to do for you.

And finally,  Mark 14:36  tells us that in his greatest fearful strife, Jesus prayed to  'Abba, Father,'  surrendering to his loving Father's care.   

Thank you for listening.  I  hope you will accept this as my Fathers' Day gift to you.